Handling difficult conversations - Rachel Hands, Managing Equitable, Effective, Teams

This resource first appeared in issue #36 on 07 Aug 2020 and has tags Managing A Team: Other, Becoming A Manager: Conflict/Difficult Discussions, Becoming A Manager: Managing Individuals

As above, difficult conversations don’t get easy, but they do get easier. And once you’re a manager, as Hands says,

It’s imperative that you, as a manager, initiate tough conversations when the need arises.

There’s no way through but through, though, so Hands recommends identifying what’s making you uncomfortable about having the conversation so as to defuse it a little bit, and then to focus on the (very specific, observable) issue at hand and that you’d like to start addressing. Then during the conversation, listen a lot, be open to solutions (or even restatements of the problems), and don’t get sidetracked.

None of that makes it easy, but focussing on future outcomes and being aware of what’s making you uncomfortable helps.

Hands points to similarities with the feedback model she advocates, and I’ll just add as above that giving frequent, specific, early feedback can greatly reduce the number of Big Conversations like this that you need to have. Many short slightly difficult conversations » fewer very difficult conversations.